What makes you happy?

Think about this for a brief moment

What makes you happy?

This seems like a million dollar question.

Some of you may know the answer instantly and some of you may have to struggle with it for a while before you get a solid answer. I have asked this question to hundreds of people and the answers have varied from person to person.

Two Influencing Factors

If we try to de-construct, we might end up looking at two key influencing factors and they happen to be
a) External circumstances
b) Internal circumstances

In both cases, there is an undesired state and as you guessed it right – a desired state.

When both the internal and external circumstances are at a desired state, then it seems like one is happy.

Diametrically opposite to this is a place where both external and internal circumstances are in an undesired state leading to a hopeless state

When the external circumstances are at a desired state and the internal circumstances are at an undesired state, one has got work to do and probably one is complacent.

When the internal circumstances are at a desired state but the external circumstances are not, then, in general, one would feel victimized.

So, it seems like the quest has to be to very quickly get to a place where the external and internal circumstances are at a desired state.

Well, that would be wrong!

Honestly, the above question is a trap and choosing to answer the above question as is means that you have fallen into the trap. However logical the above explanation feels, the fact remains that in choosing to answer the question you have agreed to put “some conditions” for your happiness. Once you are on that path, you implicitly acknowledge that the default state for you is not to be happy.

Well, you can change that.

First step is to strike off the seemingly logical explanation  completely.

It does not make sense.

Start here

When you put no conditions for happiness and acknowledge that by default you are happy, the world looks different. You might confuse the people around you because they are looking at the world from another angle where the default is to be unhappy and the quest for them is to reach the desired state in the external and internal circumstances. But we are not talking about pleasing everyone around you – so there is no need to worry about what others think of you especially when it comes to things like happiness and tranquility.

When your default state is happy and you see something beautiful, what should happen? Nothing – you will be “more happy.” The world IS different with this mindset.

Will things go wrong and knock you off from this state? Yes and that is life and you might go away from the state of happiness to anxiety or frustration but then again you are the one who will decide how long you will stay in those states of anxiety and frustration. You can stay there for minutes, hours, days or weeks. The choice is yours and it is a CHOICE.

To go one level deeper, there are internal circumstances and your internal responses to external circumstances. Your response (not reaction) to external circumstances is a choice. So, when it comes to something like happiness, you have TOTAL control as everything is internal.

What next?

My humble request is to stop and reflect on what you read for at least a minute before you click through and jump to the next big thing. After all, it is YOUR happiness and it is worth one more minute of your time. Then, think about ONE person that might benefit from reading this and send the link or copy/paste the text from here for them.

All the best!