The Ultra-short Course on Seduction

How can you seduce someone?

Important Note: With the Valentine’s day around, the title can be misleading.  No, I am not talking about romantic kind of seduction – I don’t claim to be an expert on that and I am happily married for the last twenty years – so I guess it does not matter either way. I am talking about seduction in business.

Well, back at it again – How can you seduce someone?

The answer – you shouldn’t try to do that. They will be seduced on their own based on the following factors:

  1. Who you are to them
  2. What you bring to the table (your product, offering, possibility, opportunity)
  3. How you bring that to them (the story you tell)
  4. Your timing (It matters to them but is it the right time for them)
  5. How well do you stack against other available options?
  6. What are the additional costs involved to engage with you (including the cost of mindshare)

If it all looks complicated, here is the skinny version:

The level of seduction is directly proportional to their assessment of positive possibilities your products and/or services to them amongst all the available (and comparable in cost) options

Since it’s an ultra-short course, I won’t go into all the details but will give you an overview of what it takes to create an automatic seduction.

Assumption: You have reasonable amount of credibility with the other person and the timing is reasonably right.

1. Increase the expectation to reality gap positively:

Usually people do this reverse – they create a big enough expectation and the reality is not that colorful. If the gap is negative, everything fails for this attempt but also pushes you back on anything else you bring to them in the future. However, if the expectations are set right and the reality is way more colorful than what they are expecting, you opened first door to seduction.

[ Note: Read about The Niagara Factor for more details ]

2. Let them do the talking:

If “overwhelm” is your weapon to seduction, you will fail miserably. if they are not involved, they won’t be seduced. You have to be master at engaging in a conversation not in delivering a sermon. The more they talk, the more they get involved. Plus, if you don’t listen, you don’t get realtime feedback to know whether you are going in the right direction or not.

3. Don’t drag them, guide them along:

Learn to sell your ideas via mental breadcrumbs. What can you do to guide them to a place where they are seduced? You have to take them through a journey that will go through the following stages:

A. The current situation is not optimal on one or more levels

B. The gaps from the current situation to the optimal situations are clear now.

C. The gaps can be filled with reasonable costs and effort on their part NOW or in the near future

D. Bonus: What you are bringing to the table APPEAR to be much more compelling compared to other available options in the marketplace

E: Bonus: They will wonder how work can happen without having what you are bringing to the table.

4. Show, Not Tell:

Telling is easier compared to showing it. If you remember your car buying experience, they usually ask you to take the car for a test drive. Why? because they want you to “experience” the car yourself. It is a much better option compared to an hour-long lecture on why you should buy the car. The same concept applies everywhere. Think about what you can do to “show” what you bring to the table.

5. Structure Your Narrative to Induce Action

Your narrative is what transfers your story from your mind to their mind – hopefully in a compelling fashion. A little bit of creativity will help a LOT here. Structuring your narrative is an art that is priceless.

[For an example, read: This car wash is free ]

6. Watch Out for the Seduction Signals

The biggest seduction signal is the statement – “Tell me more..” and you typically get that if you have an element of mystery thrown into the mix. If you don’t get a clear seduction signal, pressing hard on your current approach won’t help much. You have to think of another angle.

7. The Long-Term Seduction Litmus Test:

If you have truly seduced someone, you win but they WIN way bigger than you. I am not talking about they feeling that they won – that is bordering manipulation. They need to actually win big or else the seduction is short-lived and actually a wasted effort.

All the best!

Photo Courtesy: Doug88888 on Flickr