More F’ing Annoying Startup Memes
It was not enough to publish a Top Ten list or post a pile up of more ridiculously irritating memes. Nope, not here at Strong Opinions! We always strive to expose for our rapturous audience the most thoroughly preposterous startup memes for your reading pleasure or derision.
So without further ado, here are your most current top startup memes that deserve a good smacking around. Hopefully some sense will come to these people…
- F-bombing Tech Bloggers – Hee hee, she said the F-word. Not willing to contain themselves, they slather on the naughty language in their posts, giggling like little schoolboys and girls. They are not impressing anyone. Rather it just comes off as sophomoric, unprofessional, and further undermines the already weak credentials of the “tech media”.
- Ship It Or DIE! – Not sure about you, but I am not all that excited to use your crappy app that you just pushed out there. You might think your users are also your test bed, but they are not nor do they appreciate it. Too many apps and websites are being released without even the most rudimentary of testing being performed, and the experience SUCKS! Instead of this ship or else mentality, take some time to make sure the app actually works.
- Startups Are Like [Insert Animal Here] – Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Every so often, someone finds yet another animal to compare startups to. Startups even get compared with lowly fruit flies. Think public tech companies are not immune from the bug analogies, think again. Pretty soon, someone is going to have the nerve to compare startups to unicorns and pixie dust.
- Marketing Is Dead – Kind of like the marketing is for lousy products meme, but more expansive and scorched earth. People, marketing is a $1 trillion industry across distribution, technology and creative. Marketing is not dead, but it is certainly transforming, so let’s get back to reality and buy more Adwords again.
- Hey Look, Ryan Gosling VC! – Why was this even a thing? He is a B-list actor at best. And while the first Ryan Gosling meme was slightly amusing, the joke quickly got worn out after the second iteration. Luckily though it died out before someone could write the “Ryan Gosling Is Dead” post.
- Founders Are Simply Lazy – Apparently, entrepreneurs are not successful because they are wasting time. Well thank you Mr. YC for pointing that out. However, the entrepreneurs that I know are not wasting time. They gave up cushy, high paying jobs to pour their very heart and soul and being into their ideas. Plus, dropping F-bombs like some lowly tech blogger to get attention to your post is simply pathetic. Dave McClure can pull it off, you can’t.
- Paid, Paid Vacations, Hell Yeah – Hiring gimmicks are great for generating media attention and snagging more resumes. They suck however when it comes to building a real company culture that respects employees and rewards outstanding work. Gimmicks are shortcuts, but startups focused on long-term, sustainable culture realize it is consistency, transparency, and honesty that win in the end.
- Olympic Level Griping – Yes, NBC did a pretty crappy job regarding the tape delay and the insipid prime time programming. But you know what, your opinion doesn’t even matter. Most people in the US still watched and enjoyed the games and NBC actually did not lose boatloads of money or viewers in the process. In fact, all the Twitter noise probably contributed to even greater viewership.
- Twitter Is OVER – So Twitter goes all Death Star and the Evil Empire on its developers and ecosystem. The end is near, they cry out, alas it is merely talking to the wind. Twitter can do what it is doing because it owns its space and no one, not even App.net, is going to take it over. You think Twitter is over? Think again because it just keeps getting bigger.
- Revenge of the Growth Hackers? – Wait, you mean this is a programmer that cares about revenue or a marketer that wears a tech hat? This lamentable title has infiltrated Silicon Valley and it has no merit. Real marketers are both data-driven and creative and have been for years. I used to work for a marketing automation and analytics company that had a platform that would make these “growth hackers” heads spin. There is nothing new here, just another stupid term to blog about.
So as not to come off as a total curmudgeon and unmitigated killjoy, here I present you one meme that is actually super awesome:
- The Tesla Obsession – So the Oatmeal dude got his Tesla museum funded in a long fought campaign to bring greater awareness of the electric man from Serbia to the science illiterate masses. Anything that can get people, especially kids, into science and technology the better and here’s hoping that even more is done to bring science to the forefront. We could use more Mohawk wearing boys and girls building stuff.
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