What is social media doing to our youth?
And how can we help lead them in the right direction?
I joined Facebook in November 2005 and Twitter in November 2009. In both years I was a freshman in high school and college, respectively, and interestingly enough, a freshman at new-age social media. Facebook wasn’t my first social site, as I had been on Myspace and Xanga, but gaining access to the platform back when you had to be invited by a peer almost felt like a rite of passage.
Just like today, there were certainly crazy things happening on the Internet. As kids in this “first” social media generation, we really didn’t know what this power meant, and our parents certainly didn’t. I remember a girl a year or two behind me having her nudes exposed on Facebook (which is illegal in so many ways) and the constant bullying that happened on Twitter over holiday breaks when we all had hours to spare. I was also a victim of social media bullying on Facebook that made me embarrassed to attend my high school for a few weeks. While it was nothing that I wouldn’t be able to get over, I often think about those kids who don’t have thick skin.
Do you know where your children are?
I missed the era of the classic “Do you know where your children are?” PSA by a decade, but the sentiment of that TV spot is still relevant today. While people may know that their children (or nieces, nephews, siblings, godchildren, etc.) are at home safe upstairs in their room, they still don’t know where their children are online. With so many websites and apps out there, it’s hard to keep track of what exactly children are up to and what kind of bullying they could be experiencing. Of course there are ways to track this movement, but kids are so advanced now that it’s probably pretty easy for them to get around a lot of this with a simple Google Search or Incognito Mode.
An extremely terrifying and recent story of online harassment made its way to my RSS feed last week. I found myself distraught reading about a young girl, a 10-year-old with pigtails and hair barrettes, who committed suicide by hanging after being bullied at school and then on the musical.ly app. Ashawnty Davis’ story is a prime example of how social media allows in-person harassment to follow students home after school, on weekends and on holiday breaks.
In Ashawnty’s case, she did what any person being bullied would do. She approached the student who harassed her in hopes of ending the bullying only to end up in a physical altercation that was recorded and uploaded to a popular adolescent app. Knowing that fight could be seen by anyone, anywhere, and at anytime drove her to end her own life.
I have numerous questions about this situation, but of course I’m drawn to the pieces that include social media and technology. Why didn’t musical.ly remove the fight immediately? Why does musical.ly allow uploads of this nature in the first place?(I thought the app was for covers and lip syncing). What types of features do our favorite apps now need to have in order to screen for this type of content?
As parenting has evolved, it seems we have let technology raise our children to some extent. We shove an iPad in their faces on flights to keep them busy instead of a book, give them violent video games with chat access in middle school and cell phones in high school that are used at the dinner table instead of having a real discussion. We don’t monitor or talk to our kids about what’s happening behind the scenes and the screens they are so focused on until they’re depressed. I truly believe bullying behavior can start and end at home.
I understand it’s almost impossible to avoid tech
Unless you’re Amish, it’s pretty difficult for the typical American student to avoid the Internet at school or home. I recall taking computer lessons on a desktop PC in pre-school, typing lessons in 6th grade and also receiving tips on staying safe online. However, these tips were more focused on not providing personal information to creepy online adults and avoiding chatrooms outside of your age range.
Today, big tech companies are encouraging youth to login and explore at an even younger age. Amazon allows kids 13 to 17 to have a Prime account that links to an adult’s account and requires approval for purchases. Google has the Family Link app where the youth in your life can be tracked on their personal devices. Just yesterday, Facebook launched a Messenger Kids app where children 13 and under can chat with approved contacts. It’s interesting to note that while Snapchat isn’t supposed to be used by those under 13, some parents let their children have an account for the fun filters, but they’re not allowed to have or add any friends.
I should also note that musical.ly is not supposed to be used by children under the age of 13. Unless Ashawnty’s bully was a full three years older than her, which is possible, it appears he or she shouldn’t have been using the app in the first place.
So what happens now?
Us adults who have had to deal with a troll or two online should take the initiative to keep a more careful eye on the youth in our life in-person and online. Even if you are 100% confident that your child isn’t being bullied, it’s still important to check-in because they could actually be the child bullying others.
Here are a few ideas:
- Ask questions — It’s hard to know exactly what’s happening in a preteen or teenager’s life, but at least showing some sort of interest in a concerning (not nosey) manner can go a long way. Know who their friends are, what’s going on at school and what websites they visit.
- Become friends with the children in your life on social media — This may be more difficult in some situations, but it’s worth a shot. Make them add you on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat so you can keep an eye on what’s happening. Of course they can change the privacy settings to their favor, but it’s one step closer than being totally shut out.
- Let them know that the Internet is forever — Tell them stories about situations you saw or experienced online and how those memories stick with you. Make sure they’re aware that anything they type, reshare, post or physically say online can be tracked forever due to screenshots or recording software. Keep them updated with real-world examples.
- Simply pay attention — If you notice a change in attitude or behaviors, enquire with them, friends, teachers and other family members about what’s different. Let them know you’re a shoulder to lean and won’t make any drastic moves unless they, or someone else, are in danger.
- Show them how to use social media safely — Create numerous real-life and online scenarios and then sit down with the child to explain to them what they should do if these situations happen. While it’s never too late to do this, doing it to youth when they first get Internet and social media access will resonate more.
And while you’re here, take a moment to bookmark the links of safety and parent resources for the most popular online platforms:
- Snapchat — Snapchat Safety Center & A Parent’s Guide to Snapchat
- Instagram — Addressing Abuse & Tips for Parents
- Facebook — Staying Safe & Safety Resources for Parents
- Musical.ly — Privacy & Safety & For Parents
- Twitter — Safety on Twitter. Interestingly enough, Twitter doesn’t have a specific section on resources for parents. If I have overlooked it, share it with me in the comments.
While we may not be able to reach every student with a smartphone, hopefully the adults reading this can help make social media safer for at least one child in their life.
✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦
If you like this post please clap for me so others have a higher chance of finding and reading! 👏🏽 Read even more social media content via thecontentplug.co.
